tumblr!

i started a tumblr. craaaap. there goes my spare time!!

stuck in a rut

im in a rut. its official.
when did life become this uneventful for me? honestly, can i please go back to my 15 year old self who had friends and was healthy? i know this is going to sound exaggerated, but i truly feel i have no new friends here and my lungs are failing. i am optimistic, but i cannot get out of this rut. i absolutely cannot. why is it so difficult for me to just make friends or run on a treadmill for like 30 minutes instead of just sit here? its pathetic that i cannot be my normal self in what is supposed to be an environment for growth and spectacular fun? maybe today i am just tired and feel sick (which is true! another reason i am down...) and i need to go surfing and i am surrounded by my brains negativity. :////

im trying to look on the bright side but its getting to be a battle rather than being something that comes naturally.
life is being such a fail right now :((

about me?

welcome to my wild, crazy, awesome, hectic, fun, happy, perfect world.


alright, to the basics:

my name is Shannon White. I am a female, age 19 attending the University of San Diego. I have a wonderful mother and father - both who i love dearly. I also have a brother, John, who is seriously becoming one of my favorite people. Here is a semi- old picture of us:

aren't we cute?!

So, I guess another thing I need to elaborate on is the fact that I do have a genetic disease called Cystic Fibrosis. If you are not sure what that is, I encourage you to look it up on the Web or at CFF.org for more information. (warning: the website needs to be worst-case scenario information, so if you're worried for any reason, don't be. I really have some of the best care in the world at my finger tips.)

Anyway, if you have not figured this out, THAT is the reason for me always being sick and the hospital stays and the PICC lines and everything. That is it. now you know :D 

anyway, some trivial other things:

I LOVE THE BEACH AND SURFING. i love my family and my friends. i love food - yougurtland is def. laced with crack. i love to go outside and be with nature. i love all kinds of music and i have songs stuck in my head on a daily basis. I am working toward a teaching degree and hope to maybe even get a masters. :D I want to teach elementary school because i love children and i think helping future generations is a benefit to society. I am in the sorority of Alpha Delta Pi, which I am actually a legacy thanks to my grandmother. I could not have been blessed with a more wonderful family - on both sides - and i am seriously so grateful for the life that i have. I literally have a perfect life, CF is just my one fault. 

why i started to blog:

well, it really all started with Emily. Emily Haager is a 26 year old adult with CF who became my mentor as i transferred from the pediatric CF center to the adult center at USC University Hospital (Go Trojans!). She was seriously - like i dont think i can convey how amazing she was into words - but seriously the most epic, awesome person I have ever talked to. I know what you are thinking: what? she was your mentor but she only talked to you?  Yes. I could only speak with her via email, or facebook or skype because of our CF. Each person with CF has their own unique strain of a virus or bacteria that affects their lungs - this is what gets us sick most of the time. However, just like a normal cold, these viruses can pass from one person to the next and, as you may have figured, the less viruses the better. Its like having a really bad cold you can easily pass to one another.  So, it is protocol by our doctors that all patients stay at least 6 feet away from each other. So that means, I could never talk to Emily face to face. I could not go have coffee with her, or lunch or drive in a car with her. We would not want to pass germs because we could get each other really sick. Anyway, she had a blog! and it was fascinating to get to see her world, and have her talk about her experience with CF. 

However, just before she turned 27, she went into USC hospital for what most CFers call a "tune-up" to get some IV antibiotics and get her lungs back in shape. These "tune-ups" usually take about 2-3 weeks in a hospital with intense respiratory therapy and antibiotics and then its back to normal life. But this time, Emily's infection was pretty bad and the antibiotics she took to get rid of the infection had an adverse reaction. She was allergic to the medication. Not only could they not treat the virus, but they were causing inflammation and damage in her body. Soon, vital organs began to shut down and Emily began a fight for her life. She spent an entire 4 months in the hospital - a rollercoaster which had ups and downs. I followed her progress basically from the beginning. I had never checked my email so many times throughout a day, and each time I had a new update I would hope and pray she was getting better - not worse. 

On May 1, 2010, Emily Haager went to a place without CF. A place where she could run, surf and finally breathe with the lungs God had cured and given her. 

That was a hard time for me to say the least. Not only had I lost a mentor, a friend but I had lost her to CF. 

She is why I have started writing. In my opinion, if there were anyone on this earth who deserved to live and continue to make the world a better place, it was Emily. She is my inspiration and the main reason I want to be a better person, a better CF advocate, and live every single day without regrets. Emily, I miss you so deeply and I hope you are catching barrels in heaven! Thank you so much for giving me what you have. Having you in my life was truly amazing and I will see you later! :D

anddd yeah, i'll post happier things later. but if you wanna take a look at Emily and her amazing life read her blog or look at this awesome video and you can see for yourself how amazing she was.

<3 you Emily

goodnight everyone.

xoxo Shannon

mauli ola

little by little


so, last weekend i went surfing with the mauli ola foundation (and i promise PROMISE i'll post info about myself soon!!) but they are seriously awesome. and i met a bunch of super awesome people.
but also, i met this kid Gavin. (gavin if you ever read this just know that i mean it!) and he was the first person EVER, who was my age and was NOT part of the mauli ola foundation and who was NOT part of my family or close friends, that i told about me having cystic fibrosis. and Gavin, i wanna say thanks. because how you handled that news, - even if you didnt completely understand what it was - it made me hopeful that other people will take it as well as you did. and not be afraid to ask me questions about it - and have me answer honestly. it was seriously the best gift you can give me. im slowly getting better at realizing who i am - cf and all - and i want to give that credit to you because im not as afraid of CF anymore. im a little more honest with myself (and i guess the ENTIRE web). and that is with your help. :D

oh and thanks for surfing with me!! you're good! so i hope i can hangout with you more and maybe learn a few pointers? haha thanks!!!

no time for this

hello world of blogging!
i dont really know why ive started this. to be honest i probably should be studying and all that, considering im a college student. 
i guess its probably just to get more comfortable with myself - who I really really am - and allow more people to share that with me as well. i guess if you're reading this you wanna get to know me. so, uh welcome! i'll try to be as honest as i can on this thing but i think it may take some time since it kinda feels like i havent really been me until recently. and i mean the REAL me. like the one with no secrets or things to hide. just me. plain and simple. 


i know this is all sounding kinda like a downer, but i swear to you i am a super fun person who LOVES pretty much everything and really could not ask for a more blessed and wonderful life! :D i am a pure optimist! i love having a positive outlook on the future  and i know that is gonna help me through the tough times! 


since i dont have a ton of free time to talk about myself(yet!), i guess ill just start with the title of my blog: "Living the Dream" 
i spent like a good hour trying to think of something better to call my blog and i went through and number of things from music lyrics to qwirky quotes. but i kept coming back to "LTD" (despite the fact that Hurley Co. definitely already like claimed it as their foundation - which is totally cool! because that foundation is seriously so epic! love you Hurley!!) I guess you could say they sort of gave me the idea. But! But! what REALLY sealed the deal for me was looking up the phrase on urban dictionary. (yeah, i know what a seriously stereotypical thing for me to do, being a teenager and all that... w/e) anyway, i found a totally awesome definition - and, of course, killer funny examples - of what LTD actually is. 


so here's one definition:

living the dream

DECLARATION OF “LIVING THE DREAM” WE the sovereign members of “the dream” due establish this declaration of our political, moral, theoretical, intellectual, ideological, philosophical, physical state of mind. The dream is the everlasting pursuance of a unique goal that is sacred to the man that holds it.

awesome, right? okay now i know some people may think that using this slang term is usually meant for sarcasm, which is true. in fact, urban dictionary also provided that definition as well, subsequent to the one i just gave you. 


it goes something like this:

Living the dream
	Phrase describing the act of doing something that has relative significance to you and your closest companion that would seem pathetic and sad to most other people. ironic. Sitting in the back parking-lot of a Japanese restaurant, John pours stolen vodka into a vitamin-water bottle. Sally: We're living the dream!

yeah that example is actually hilarious. thank you random editor! and of course, you would be considered not only clever if you responded like that, but also a comic genius (in my opinion) and since i use comedy as a shield for anything remotely scary, i really appreciate this other use of LTD. 


so there you have it. for now. i am so stoked to actually be living my own dream, but for now i gotta get some shut eye because i have some serious class in the morning! and some crazy tests this week! GAH told you i had no time for this! i will do a full scale descrip. when i find some time. maybe my next little stint in the hospital? lets hope not! :) 
and yeah, ill explain the hospital visits later. peace and love <3


Shannon